a newfound friendship :)

Hi! :D

I just went back from my trip to Penang! :D thank God everything went well, and it was a new experience for me to visit another part of Malaysia :) I'll tell the whole stories complete with the pictures once my friends already upload the pictures on facebook, deal? :D

I am daaaang tired since I just slept for approximately 2 hours during the past 32 hours, but I am sooo excited to write this post and this can't wait until tomorrow (to the limit that I am currently typing this on my bb because I am too tired to turn my laptop on :P). In this post, I am going to tell the story about the journey itself, especially the one when we were back from Penang.

We rented one van that may occupy up to 15 people including the driver, but since there were 16 of us joining the trip, one of us (let's say that her name is A :D) brought her car, together with her brother (let's call him B :P) as spare transportation. This was the first time for us to meet B. Besides me in that car, there were also C (male) and D (female), meaning that there were five of us in the car. C is our classmate, but we are not that close, while D has been a close friend of mine since undergraduate years.

We departed from UPM at 11 pm on thursday night since we wanted to arrive at National Poison Centre early. The journey itself took only approximately 4 hours (since both the van and B were speeding like they were in Fast and Furious movie :P). During the journey, D and I were the ones who kept on talking since we wanted to keep B awake (by being noisy, kekeke~ :P) and concentrated on the road. However, B did not talk much this time, and just occasionally commented on our remarks.

However, it was a completely different story when we went back from Penang on friday afternoon. C started the conversation with B, and we found out that B is pretty much a talkative (and a bit 4D XD~) person after having a good nap. Since they were the same age (22 y.o.), it was easy for them to get along.
We decided to separate ways from the van because A needed to drop by at her relative's house in Perak (which is located around our way back to UPM from Penang) since the relative is getting married this Sunday. That was the first time for A and B to come to their relative's house, and we kept getting lost during our journey to Perak (to the limit that we trusted B's-not-so-trustable intuition instead of GPS XD~). However, we kept on laughing and singing and trying to guess some roads while munching on loads of potato chips that we had in the car instead of getting stressed, so I guess this is the first time I was having fun when I was lost in my way :D

When we were back from Perak to UPM, the story began. I did not really remember how it was started, but I think it was when we commented on C's all-mellow-yellow song choice (since it was currently C's playlist playing in the car). All of sudden, he told us the story of his bitter love life.

Basically, C was in a relationship with a girl for 3 years. He was really in love with this girl, but suddenly she asked to break up. When C asked why, she just stated that she didn't find him compatible with her (which is, helloooooo, what did you do for the past three years until you only found it out just now??). Eventhough it was hard for him, he just did what the girl wanted and they broke up. Surprisingly, the girl wanted him back around one week after they broke up, but he could not accept her back at that time since he thought that she was just playing around with him. Buuuut, one month later, he felt like he couldn't hold his feeling anymore because he missed her so much, so he called her and asked her to meet up....
... only to find out that she's already with someone new :(
Of course, he was really broken at that time. Three years is no joke man, they even already met each other's families. However, he was also thankful because later on, he found out that when he was in a relationship with her, she had cheated on him. Twice. At the end, he told us that he already moved on, and he was thankful that God had shown earlier to him that she's not the right one for him.

Then, we moved on to A's story. A is currently doing her PhD, and she is in a relationship with someone three years younger than her. The thing is, this guy has already settled down with his bachelor, and he asked A to get married with him next year. He keeps asking her to marry him like ASAP, and it's getting on A's nerves. She just started her PhD and everything has not been settled yet. She still needs to confirm on her methods, finish all her classes, and other suffocating stuff to do. Getting married ASAP is definitely not a priority for her right now. What makes her sad is it seems like her boyfriend does not understand why she needs to continue to PhD since he already settles down with his bachelor degree, and she starts to feel like her boyfriend does not support her. She was like stressed all our way back to UPM and asked us to play rock songs for her. We could not do anything much for her, but at least we sang along with her to the top of our lungs and she kept on laughing with us since our voice combination was, well.... a bit funny if I should say :P

Next, D told her story. Back then, before she is in a relationship with her boyfriend now, she was close with this one guy. They were like so close that people around them already think that they are in a relationship. However, one day, they suddenly drifted apart without her knowing the reason why *ahem, why does the story sound familiar? :D*. He kept on avoiding her to the limit that she was tired to keep asking what is wrong with him or her that time, and she just decided that she won't mess with his life anymore eventhough she still felt something for him.
Two years later, she found out the truth from her other friend that actually that guy liked her at that time, just like how she felt for him. Buuuuut, he found out that his bestfriend liked D too, so he decided to give up his feelings at that time and 'hand D over' to his bestfriend. This fact drove D mad because she felt like she's just a thing that people can easily hand over. Well, it's understandable since she has feelings too. It doesn't mean that she will accept the bestfriend anyway eventhough that guy already hand her over to him because she did not have any feeling for the bestfriend. At the end, none of them ended up with her, and she is happy now with his current boyfriend. She admitted that she did not feel right during those two years before she found out the truth because she still had feelings for him and she kept asking herself 'what went wrong?', so basically she said to us (particularly to me :P) to settle every unanswered questions in our heads and stop making assumptions because the truth may be far from what we think of.

From all the stories that night, the saddest love story came from B. Two years ago, he lost his girlfriend of 5 years. In an accident. And the accident happened in Gurney Drive, Penang. And the first place that we dropped by when we were arrived at Penang was, you've guessed it, Gurney Drive. Yes, somehow I feel like this might be one of the reasons why he was quiet all the way to Penang, but all-talkative when we were back from Penang. He got the hardest process of moving on. He cried himself to sleep, and sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night because of nightmares about her. They had been a couple since middle school and he already thought that she was the one for him, so it was really hard for him to let her go. At the end, he finally came to terms that he would not be able to forget her completely, even if he's with someone new. The memories will always be there, eventhough the feelings may not. He said to us not to force ourselves to move on, because it is a process. Forcing ourselves to move on will only make us suffer. It is okay to cry, it is okay to think of the person sometimes, it is okay to have a dream about that person, but don't let it get ourselves down. Keep busy, do new things, make new memories. Well, it works for him. He is now in a relationship with a Malaysian who's currently residing in Canada for her bachelor degree, and he plans to propose her when she is back in Malaysia :)

It was kind of surprising to me that in the span of 32 hours being together, we become the best of friends all of sudden. It felt like something 'clicked' that night when we told our stories one by one. I feel like they can be the friends that I am gonna be with both when I want to have fun together and when I need a shoulder to lean on. All of us had our fun when we joked and sang our hearts out, but we also tried our best to give advices and comforting words when any of us put our hearts out during the heart-to-heart session. It feels like we are able to trust each other in only 32 hours. We even made a plan to have another road trip together, or at least a hanging out session at any coffee shop during our free time, and we ensure that B joins us too although he's not from UPM.

Well, we find friendship in unexpected ways, right? :)

I will come back soon with new post full of pictures and story during our trip to Penang. Sooooo, see you around! :)

Ps: Did I tell my story too? Yes, of course, and they gave me the best advices :)

fifty shades of me :P

see, i fulfilled my promise. it's just one day and i'm back with a new post *grin*

it's almost 4 am and i just woke up from my not-so-deep slumber (since i woke up a few times) because i am about to disrupt my biological clock. and why do i have to do so?

because my classmates and i are going on a road trip to penang tomorrow night (teeheeee~ i love road trips! :D). i guess i need to stay awake for the whole journey because i don't wanna close my eyeeeeees i don't wanna fall asleeeeep *ahem. sorry :P* well, we already rented one big van that may occupy all of us + the driver, but i prefer to join one of my classmates' ride since, well, that's what road trip is all about, right? :D besides, it's much better for me to be in the same ride with fun people because the trip to penang will gonna be a pretty long journey (for approximately 5 hours. and it is not inclusive with the traffic jam considering that this is gonna be a kinda long weekend and the road will be oh-packed-so-much). so pleaaaaaase pray for me so that everything will go smoothly and safely :)


i need to stay awake during these times, maybe until around 10 am or something, and this one idea suddenly popped in my head.

why don't i write 50 facts about me??

i knooooooow this is very narcisstic of me to do so (and i am warning you now that the facts i am gonna write will probably be totally useless. don't tell me that i haven't warned you :P), but please bear with me, okay okay? *grin*

  1. i love onion rings.
  2. my body weight is always back to the same number for the past 3 years, no matter how much i eat or how much i starve.
  3. i mostly sleep in fetus position.
  4. i am pretty much a 'readable' person, because my expression always shows what i feel.
  5. i am currently in love with the scent of azure breeze from marks & spencer and green tea.
  6. blue has been and forever will always be my favorite color.
  7. i am getting more introvert these days.
  8. i always replace tapioca pearls in bubble tea with pudding.
  9. i can't ride a bike.
  10. i have a playlist full of brokenhearted songs named 'broken' and i always listen to it before i fall asleep.
  11. tumblr has always been my guilty pleasure.
  12. i don't find facebook interesting anymore.
  13. i hate fish, veggies, and fruits.
  14. but i am TOTALLY in for canned sardines, bananas, and eggplants.
  15. i really want to master rapping, because girl rappers always sound cool to me ^^
  16. i like my sunny-side egg to have crispy, brown edge, but still-runny egg yolk (yessss, you have to fry it in LOADS of oil :P)
  17. i am afraid of cats
  18. but i have soft spot for kittens
  19. i love coffee, but i can't stand the anxiety after T^T
  20. i can't sleep before listening to music (unless i am really tired)
  21. i concentrate and work better with music (yes, including labworks and exam preparations :P)
  22. i always download videos in resolution of 360 px
  23. the best reality shows for me will always be SHINee Hello Baby, Running Man, and Shinhwa Broadcast
  24. the best tv series will always go to big bang theory (hail to the nerds! *grin*)
  25. i don't use any head support while sleeping, and i hug the pillow instead
  26. i love mountains better than beach for holidays
  27. i am a pretty blunt person
  28. i plan everything beforehand, and i hate it the most when things don't go like what i plan
  29. i am not an adventurous person since i would like to stay in my comfort zone forever
  30. yeah i gotta admit that i have low self-esteem
  31. i am allergic to dust and cold weather (to the limit that i had to wake up in the middle of the night when the temperature reached 17 degree C and i couldn't breathe because my nose was totally blocked, so i had to drink something hot. and there i was, sitting in the kitchen, waiting for my water to boil in the kettle, while trying my best to breathe through my mouth :P)
  32. my favorite number is 8, because it is a symbol of infinity (and it is my birthdate too :D)
  33. i really want to learn korean and japanese
  34. after reading sons of the sun, barcelona is the place that i want to visit at the moment ^^
  35. i am a sucker for plushies
  36. my favorite lipbalm flavor would be Etude House Be Happy Ladybug (peach(-like??) flavored)
  37. my ideal date would be sitting in a coffeeshop and chit-chatting for hours, or stargazing at a rooftop
  38. i love sitting down at the furthest, most secluded corner in my library, connecting to the hotspot while munching my snacks (psssst :P)
  39. i love karaoke
  40. my forever favorite cartoon characters would always be dumbo, doraemon, and pikachu
  41. i don't like parties, basically any formal occasions (i even celebrated my sweet seventeen by renting a mini-theatre for 30 ppl instead of having a party :P)
  42. my favorite animal is elephant
  43. i become a noob when it comes to philosophical, poem-related things
  44. i hate politics
  45. i can cook alfredo pasta (my forever favorite pasta), totally from scratch (i mean no instant sauce), and so far my sister loves it :P
  46. i love baking, especially brownies
  47. my favorite housechore is cleaning the bathroom (my housemates know about this so well :P)
  48. i love it even better when people say i am 'cool' instead of 'pretty', 'cute', or 'beautiful'
  49. i have jinx with earphones, because they only can stay averagely one month with me (no matter how expensive or cheap they are), so i always have stocks :P
  50. i don't like tea, but i love fruity-flavored teas, especially strawberry

trust me, this is the longest random-fact-post i have ever written :P

sooooooo till we meet again! adios amigos! :)

my blogging journey: year after year

hello! :D
sooooo this is my first post here in blogspot (since the previous posts are the ones that i moved from blogdrive) and second post in 2012 (when 2012 is about to end.... ckckckck. how productive i am :P)

it was a good 7 year journey with blogdrive, and it was actually kinda tough decision for me to move from blogdrive to blogspot. in the end, i still have to move out since my blogdrive is no longer accessible (because it turned into this freaky search engine-like website! i wonder how and why >.<) and maaaaan seriously, moving 200-something posts MANUALLY (since i am not a premium user, therefore i am not entitled to have backups of my blog posts and not able to migrate the posts automatically *sobs*) is no joke. it took me around 3 days to move them all. sadly, i cannot transfer the comments, so all the comments in my blog posts are back to zero (but i am not really complaining because the comments i received recently were mostly spams anyway :P). however, it is kinda good thing to move to blogspot since i have found a website which is able to create blogbook from blogspot and wordpress. i always love tweetbook, so i guess i will love having blogbooks too :)

it would probably take faster time to transfer all the blog posts from blogdrive to here if i did not spend too much time on re-reading my old blog posts :P and i definitely could see that i have changed during the past 7 years.

2005 was my most active year with 49 posts. i guess i was so excited with blogging at that time, and now i even think that most of my blog posts were something that make me rise one eyebrow and think like 'whaaaat on earth was i thinking when i posted this back then???' :D besides, i was not acquainted yet with twitter and facebook, and of course i need some place to rant, squeal, basically a place to dump every feeling and experience that i get everyday. i started blogging when i was in second year of high school, and the instability of my teenage hormones was at its peak at that time, so don't get surprised when you are pretty much interested to dig some parts of my past, particularly in that year, then you come across a wailing post, only to be followed by a happy cheery post one or two days later :P
and maaaaaannn i cannot stand the way i typed back then! i tYpEd LikE tHis and now i wonder why i was not tired at that time, typing one long post in tHis KinD oF sTYLe :P but well, ahm, i thought it would look cool at that time. thank God i already passed that stage (blame my teenage hormones. again. :P)

in 2006, you can see that my posts had been 'toned' down :D i did not use excessive exclamation nor question marks, i did not tYpE LiKe ThiS (thank GOD!), and i wrote less emo posts :P i was more into random things like discussing about movies, TV commercials, or weird occurrences happening in my daily life. however, 2006 was the year when i was trying to find out about my own personality the most, and it can be seen in some posts where i was confused about how i should behave and what kind of person actually i was. you will also see that i was ranting about IGCSE like A LOT since, to be honest, it was the most frustrating exam i had ever taken in my life (and i did not even take physics at that time. i would have been muddled by then :P). IGCSE also holds the record for being the exam with the longest period since it took me almost one month to finish all the papers (to the limit that i got stomachache, nausea, fever, and i lost my voice. thank you) and one whole year of full preparation. the results were not like what i expected, but it was the best that i could do.

2007 was the year with the most various happenings in my life. i was graduated from high school and i managed to pass the university entrance exam for Gadjah Mada University (although i turned down the offer and chose UPM instead :P). i filled in the gap between july to december with anything that i could do to vanish my boredom at home (from cooking and reading various books, to watching movies and dramas on TV). i also wrote posts about my worry before going to UPM about how to start living alone for the first time, how to adapt in such new environment without my parents by my side, and how to survive my university life because being a university student is completely different from being a high school student. there were also posts about my first times in UPM, like first class that i attended, new international student welcoming program, first indonesian people that i got introduced with, first housemates and roommate, first friend in my class, and many others. it was fun reading my posts in 2007 because all the memories came back to me and without realizing it, i was already giggling since they remind me of how naive but adventurous i was at that time.

in 2008, i wrote mostly when i was in my hometown during semester break because - yeah, you've guessed it - i have nothing to do. i discussed mostly about movies i rented and tv series that i watched. if i may say, 2008 was my 'introvert' year, in which i rarely wrote about my feelings and i wrote about incidents, my opinions about stuff, or even random things, like my university bus or library, instead. when i try to remember now, i think i was a quiet and very secretive person in 2008. i was more concentrated into my university stuff at that time. i did not care about befriending anyone, or even falling in love (well, i can't deny that i had a few crushes back then, but still :P). i tried to enjoy life without thinking about those kind of things, and i think i was quite happy with my black and white life at that time :)

2009 was a totally different story. the first difference was i started to write more intensely in english. secondly, i was into american idol and i fell for adam lambert at that time *grin*. i started to get closer to my classmates and i started to 'spark' more colors into my life. however, i was back to my emo self and i wrote a lot of posts (or implied ones :P) about this one guy that i fell for during that year. that was the first time when i had a feeling for someone and i was sure that there was 'something' between us (oh myyyy shame on meeeee >.<), so i was like, i did not get it why the reality happening was not like what i expected.
i also posted my very first (and maybe only :P) video-log in 2009, together with other music videos that i like at that time. i was into posts with short writings, and putting more videos or pictures instead. well, one picture says a thousand words, right? :D

2010, 2011, and 2012 were my unproductive years. i was soooooo busy during these times, but i did not forget to give summaries on my life happenings. it was very unfortunate for me to write less during those years, because important events happened during these times. i had my first internships, first boyfriend, first breakup. i was a final year student, i was graduated, and currently being a postgraduate student. i was, and am still, in love with the same guy over the last two years. yes, this was the longest period for me falling in love with someone, and i have reached a very desperate state in how to forget this guy because i am really sure that he has no feeling for me. most of the posts were also dedicated for him, including a stupid poem that i made when i realized that i fell for him for the first time, a tearful (yes, this guy is also the one who makes me cry the most) post when i decided to move on and let him go (but being stupid me, i still haven't done it, until this very second), and a post that i wrote when i was at the peak of 'how the hell can i forget this guy??' because it is, believe me, hard to do so (well, i have said that i am reaching a very desperate state, haven't i?).

after having, at least, a glance on those 200-something posts, i realized that i have changed. i grew up, that is for sure. i don't say that i have become mature or something (because yes, i admit that i haven't. i am still being my childish self :P), but i have turned into someone better (well, i have to! XD). i do not regret anything, not every single thing, that happened in my life, because they happened for a reason and they have made me who i am right now. it feels good to have such memories. well, at least they can be something to laugh over when i am stressed or something, right? :)

however, there is one thing that has not changed over the years.

i still write posts about how unattractive i am. i still blame my looks for staying single. i am still being my unconfident self. i am also still the same old heartbroken person :P

ehm ehm.

sooo, i cannot promise anything, but i will try to write more, because i just realize that i miss writing blog posts so much (since i am more into microblogging a.k.a twitter nowadays >.<)

see you when i see you! :)