Gosh... i wish i knew this song earlier then it would be soundtrack of the moment at that time, hahaha
enjoy. this is a good song tho :) oh and please dont get bored if i keep posting videos, songs, or lyrics... these songs i posted really described what i felt and i cant help myself, hehehe~ it's one kinda un-boring replacement of my writings rite, i know that my writings could be very boring and confusing sometimes (or maybe all the time? teehee~)
THE SATURDAYS - ISSUES
Vanessa:
Oooh, yeah,
Sometimes I feel like I'm going out of my mind,
Boy the way you do me is a damn crime,
But then you smile at me and it's alright,
With you there ain't any in between...
Every time that I walk out the door
I tell myself I can't take it no more
There's a part of me won't let you go
I keep saying yes when my minds' saying' no...
Chorus:
Me and my heart we got issues (issues)
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues.
Rochelle:
It's so hard; boy you leave me hangin' for so long
You empty out my love until it's all gone
You change the words but still it's the same song
I'm tired of the melody
Vanessa:
Change my number and throw out your clothes
But my feelings for you, it still show
I keep building a wall round my heart
But then I see you it all falls apart...
Chorus:
Me and my heart we got issues (issues)
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you (damn I wish)
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you, (can't decide)
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues (Me and my heart)
We got issues, issues, issues.
Una (and Mollie):
Why fight it, (why fight it)
Can't hide it (can't hide it)
Truth is I think I like it
Confusion, illusions (confusion, illusions)
Still I don't know which way to go,
Vanessa:
Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
The Saturdays:
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues (Me and my heart)
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you (We got to work this thing out)
Damn I wish that I could resist you (I don't know)
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you, (can't decide if I )
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues (issues)
We got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues (me and my heart)
We got issues, issues, issues
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues (we got to which way to go)
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you (I don't know)
PS : i'm having my final exams rite now. wish me a big good luck would ya? ^^
PSS : selamat hari sumpah pemuda dan selamat hari blogger nasional for indonesians! keep blogging, youngsters! :D
PSSS: i start to forgive and forget ^^ my bestfriends were rite, time heals the pain. now i feel better, folks. hopefully it gets better with time :)
es-ka-te ha-te
tumben2an yaa nulis gw dalam bahasa indonesia, hehehe. khusus buat post ini aja kok, abis itu ntar balik english lagi, soalnya khusus post ini lebih enak nulis dalam bahasa indonesia, lebih 'nyampe' aja maksudnya, meskipun yg baca mungkin ga ngerti, hehe. sorry for non-indonesian readers :P
well, oke. kalo mungkin buat yang ngikut, gw udah nulis di dua posts sebelumnya kalo gw lagi patah hati. yap, untuk kesekian kali, hahaha. dan ini yg terparah. such a shame :P
untuk kali ini, menurut gw patah hatinya agak beda. call me an extra-extrovert, tapi ga tahan juga kalo ga ditulis disini, hehehe.
mungkin buat beberapa temen2 gw yang ga begitu deket, mereka kaget kalo tau gw patah hati segini2nya, karena raut wajah dan klakuan gw masih sama aja kayak sebelom gw patah hati. well, gw emang selalu berusaha buat nunjukin kalo gw kuat, walopun sebenrnya engga, hehehe. padahal patah hati yg ini lebih parah dibanding patah hati gw yg disini (well, it was me 4 years ago. dont blame me for being so pathetic at that time, hahaha), tapi yaa efeknya tetep aja sama. jatoh2nya minder lagi. ngerasa not worth to be loved lagi, hahaha.
well, awalnya gw ga ada rasa sama sekali sama ni cowo. nahh, ini bedanya sama yg lain2 dan persamaannya sama yg waktu gw SMA dulu, sama2 awalnya ga ada rasa. nahh, karena lama2 ni cowo kayak suka nunjukin 'tanda2', gwnya lama2 jd GR *sumpah, i dont know what goes into me sampe berani bener nulis ni post. ntar kalo malu gw delete ah postnya, hahaha* yang terus makin lama makin gede dan gw mulai ngrasa kl gw cinta ama dia.
trusss setelah beberapa lama gw baru tau... kalo ni cowo udah punya cewe. hahaha anjrot kan. belom lagi pas akhir2nya gw niatan mau curhat ke sobat gw yg juga temen deketnya dia, tapi gw ga nyebut nama, ehh dasar emang mungkin kita sehati apa gimana, bisa aja dia nebak itu cowok sebenernya siapa, hahaha. tepat menembak sasaran pula. yaudahlah gw terpaksa ngaku kan ke dia, gw ceritain utuh semuanya ke dia, apa yg udah tu cowo lakuin sampe bikin gw jadi ketar ketir engga jelas (yang bisa dilihat di account twitter gw selama kira2 dua bulanan dari 7th august sampe sekitar saat2 ini lah, hehehe. ada banyak tweets nyelip yg ngegambarin perasaan gw. itupun juga kalo lo rajin buka2nya, hahaha)
and finally, i found out kalo itu cowo cuma BECANDA
oke, bukan maksudnya dia becanda sama perasaan gw, bukan. tapi emang begitulah gaya becanda dia. dia emang niatnya buat lucu2an aja, tapi karena emang dia belom pernah becanda kayak gini sebelumnya sama cewe, dan emang dasarnya gw ga begitu deket sama ni cowo jadi gw ga tau perangainya dia kayak apa, yaaa beginilah akhirnya, hehehe.
yaaaa, jujur gw susah ngedeskripsiin prasaan gw ke dia setelah gw tau yg sebenernya. gw masih ada sisa2 prasaan buat dia, itu emang jelas sulit ilangnya, gw tau. buat yg SMA dulu itu aja gw ilangnya ampe setaunan lebih, gw ga tau deh buat yg ini. kejadian ini aja udah ampir sebulan lalu and i still cant get over it, makanya gw nulis disini, kali2 aja bisa berkurang kan sakit atinya. sobat gw, yg gw curhatin itu, sempet nanya ke gw, apa gw jadi benci ke cowo ini setelah gw tau kalo dia cuma becanda. hmmm, gw sempet mikir dulu untuk ngejawabnya, errr sebenernya gw ga benci, cuma rasa marah, lebih tepatnya kecewa itu pasti ada. gw kecewa kenapa dia becanda kayak gitu ke gw, gw kecewa kenapa harus gw yang ngrasain kayak gini, dan mostly gw kecewa sama diri gw sendiri yang keGRan setengah mati dan jadi susah sendiri kayak gini (meskipun semua orang yg gw curhatin bilang kalo mereka pasti GR kalo diperlakukan hal yg sama kayak yg tu cowo lakuin ke gw).
tapi jujur, gw ngerasa gara2 feeling ini, gw jadi berubah. oke, memang sebelom ini bisa dibilang gw punya black and white life. i'm a nerd yang kerjaannya mantengin laptop, bolak balik kampus-rumah-kampus-rumah dan bisa dibilang serius banget soal pelajaran, tapi tetep gw itu orang yg happy-go-lucky, gw selalu berusaha untuk ceria tiap harinya dan semangat tiap kali bangun pagi dan jalan ke kampus. tapi gara2 perasaan ini, gw ngerasa emang ada yg hilang. gw jd lebih gloomy, lebih ga semangat, dan jadi.... aneh. yup, gw ngerasa aneh sama diri gw sendiri. misalnya, kayak sekarang dandanan gw balik ke preman lagi, kayak dandanan gw dua tahun lalu. gw balik lagi ke tshirt, jeans, sama sepatu kets. plus ngunyah permen karet ke sana sini. ga tau knapa, gw ngerasa dengan cara gw dress up kayak gini tuh gw mau nunjukin kalo gw bisa juga kuat, which means ya kayak preman. emang ga penting siy sebenrnya ahhaha.
FYI, dari waktu gw tau kl dia dah punya cewe sampe sekarang, gw ga bisa nangis, tapi ati gw udah sesek setengah mampus. kalo kata damara, emang gw harus nangis biar gw lebih lega, tapi gw udah nyoba segala cara tetep aja engga nangis. gw udah nonton proposal daisakusen yg bikin gw nangis bombay meskipun udah nonton beberapa kali, tetep ga nangis. gw udah denger heaven knows yang biasanya sukses bikin gw berurai air mata, masih ga nangis juga. bahkan denger graduation-nya vitamin c yang pasti berhasil bikin gw nangis parah aja masih ga mempan. tinggal ngiris bawang aja dah yg belom gw cobain, hahaha. alhasil sesak itu masih kerasa aja, sampe hari ini. dan gw masih berusaha menghilangkannya karena itu amat sangat tidak nyaman sekali *halah. semua orang jg tau kali.
yaah, pokoknya intinya gitu deh. emang ga jelas banget ya post gw kali ini, tapi ternyata bikin 'pngakuan' itu rada melegakan lho. moga2 time will heal the pain deh. amin. doakan ya readers, semoga post2 berikutnya gw udah dalam keadaan yg lebih ceria dan ga gloomy kayak yg sekarang ini :)
oya, sekalian gw mau taro disini tweet gw directly after i know kalo itu cowo sudah berpacar. ga tau knapa, gw suka aja sama tweet yg ini hehehe. call me pathetic :P
"to you: thanks for giving me colours in my life for the past one month. thanks for giving me butterflies everytime i see you. thanks for making me smile and cry. thanks for making me feel this way. thanks for everything. Am gonna miss you. And your smile :) oh, one more thing! i dont know her, but i know that she deserves having you. please dont break her heart like what you do to me :)"
- sep 10th from web
adios amigos! :)
ps: and my playlist till today still contains gabrielle - out of reach, gareth gates - walk on by, keith urban - you'll think of me, michelle branch - goodbye to you, samsons - luluh, s club 7 - never had a dream come true, a1 - i'll take the tears, and most importantly, rick price - heaven knows :P
well, oke. kalo mungkin buat yang ngikut, gw udah nulis di dua posts sebelumnya kalo gw lagi patah hati. yap, untuk kesekian kali, hahaha. dan ini yg terparah. such a shame :P
untuk kali ini, menurut gw patah hatinya agak beda. call me an extra-extrovert, tapi ga tahan juga kalo ga ditulis disini, hehehe.
mungkin buat beberapa temen2 gw yang ga begitu deket, mereka kaget kalo tau gw patah hati segini2nya, karena raut wajah dan klakuan gw masih sama aja kayak sebelom gw patah hati. well, gw emang selalu berusaha buat nunjukin kalo gw kuat, walopun sebenrnya engga, hehehe. padahal patah hati yg ini lebih parah dibanding patah hati gw yg disini (well, it was me 4 years ago. dont blame me for being so pathetic at that time, hahaha), tapi yaa efeknya tetep aja sama. jatoh2nya minder lagi. ngerasa not worth to be loved lagi, hahaha.
well, awalnya gw ga ada rasa sama sekali sama ni cowo. nahh, ini bedanya sama yg lain2 dan persamaannya sama yg waktu gw SMA dulu, sama2 awalnya ga ada rasa. nahh, karena lama2 ni cowo kayak suka nunjukin 'tanda2', gwnya lama2 jd GR *sumpah, i dont know what goes into me sampe berani bener nulis ni post. ntar kalo malu gw delete ah postnya, hahaha* yang terus makin lama makin gede dan gw mulai ngrasa kl gw cinta ama dia.
trusss setelah beberapa lama gw baru tau... kalo ni cowo udah punya cewe. hahaha anjrot kan. belom lagi pas akhir2nya gw niatan mau curhat ke sobat gw yg juga temen deketnya dia, tapi gw ga nyebut nama, ehh dasar emang mungkin kita sehati apa gimana, bisa aja dia nebak itu cowok sebenernya siapa, hahaha. tepat menembak sasaran pula. yaudahlah gw terpaksa ngaku kan ke dia, gw ceritain utuh semuanya ke dia, apa yg udah tu cowo lakuin sampe bikin gw jadi ketar ketir engga jelas (yang bisa dilihat di account twitter gw selama kira2 dua bulanan dari 7th august sampe sekitar saat2 ini lah, hehehe. ada banyak tweets nyelip yg ngegambarin perasaan gw. itupun juga kalo lo rajin buka2nya, hahaha)
and finally, i found out kalo itu cowo cuma BECANDA
oke, bukan maksudnya dia becanda sama perasaan gw, bukan. tapi emang begitulah gaya becanda dia. dia emang niatnya buat lucu2an aja, tapi karena emang dia belom pernah becanda kayak gini sebelumnya sama cewe, dan emang dasarnya gw ga begitu deket sama ni cowo jadi gw ga tau perangainya dia kayak apa, yaaa beginilah akhirnya, hehehe.
yaaaa, jujur gw susah ngedeskripsiin prasaan gw ke dia setelah gw tau yg sebenernya. gw masih ada sisa2 prasaan buat dia, itu emang jelas sulit ilangnya, gw tau. buat yg SMA dulu itu aja gw ilangnya ampe setaunan lebih, gw ga tau deh buat yg ini. kejadian ini aja udah ampir sebulan lalu and i still cant get over it, makanya gw nulis disini, kali2 aja bisa berkurang kan sakit atinya. sobat gw, yg gw curhatin itu, sempet nanya ke gw, apa gw jadi benci ke cowo ini setelah gw tau kalo dia cuma becanda. hmmm, gw sempet mikir dulu untuk ngejawabnya, errr sebenernya gw ga benci, cuma rasa marah, lebih tepatnya kecewa itu pasti ada. gw kecewa kenapa dia becanda kayak gitu ke gw, gw kecewa kenapa harus gw yang ngrasain kayak gini, dan mostly gw kecewa sama diri gw sendiri yang keGRan setengah mati dan jadi susah sendiri kayak gini (meskipun semua orang yg gw curhatin bilang kalo mereka pasti GR kalo diperlakukan hal yg sama kayak yg tu cowo lakuin ke gw).
tapi jujur, gw ngerasa gara2 feeling ini, gw jadi berubah. oke, memang sebelom ini bisa dibilang gw punya black and white life. i'm a nerd yang kerjaannya mantengin laptop, bolak balik kampus-rumah-kampus-rumah dan bisa dibilang serius banget soal pelajaran, tapi tetep gw itu orang yg happy-go-lucky, gw selalu berusaha untuk ceria tiap harinya dan semangat tiap kali bangun pagi dan jalan ke kampus. tapi gara2 perasaan ini, gw ngerasa emang ada yg hilang. gw jd lebih gloomy, lebih ga semangat, dan jadi.... aneh. yup, gw ngerasa aneh sama diri gw sendiri. misalnya, kayak sekarang dandanan gw balik ke preman lagi, kayak dandanan gw dua tahun lalu. gw balik lagi ke tshirt, jeans, sama sepatu kets. plus ngunyah permen karet ke sana sini. ga tau knapa, gw ngerasa dengan cara gw dress up kayak gini tuh gw mau nunjukin kalo gw bisa juga kuat, which means ya kayak preman. emang ga penting siy sebenrnya ahhaha.
FYI, dari waktu gw tau kl dia dah punya cewe sampe sekarang, gw ga bisa nangis, tapi ati gw udah sesek setengah mampus. kalo kata damara, emang gw harus nangis biar gw lebih lega, tapi gw udah nyoba segala cara tetep aja engga nangis. gw udah nonton proposal daisakusen yg bikin gw nangis bombay meskipun udah nonton beberapa kali, tetep ga nangis. gw udah denger heaven knows yang biasanya sukses bikin gw berurai air mata, masih ga nangis juga. bahkan denger graduation-nya vitamin c yang pasti berhasil bikin gw nangis parah aja masih ga mempan. tinggal ngiris bawang aja dah yg belom gw cobain, hahaha. alhasil sesak itu masih kerasa aja, sampe hari ini. dan gw masih berusaha menghilangkannya karena itu amat sangat tidak nyaman sekali *halah. semua orang jg tau kali.
yaah, pokoknya intinya gitu deh. emang ga jelas banget ya post gw kali ini, tapi ternyata bikin 'pngakuan' itu rada melegakan lho. moga2 time will heal the pain deh. amin. doakan ya readers, semoga post2 berikutnya gw udah dalam keadaan yg lebih ceria dan ga gloomy kayak yg sekarang ini :)
oya, sekalian gw mau taro disini tweet gw directly after i know kalo itu cowo sudah berpacar. ga tau knapa, gw suka aja sama tweet yg ini hehehe. call me pathetic :P
"to you: thanks for giving me colours in my life for the past one month. thanks for giving me butterflies everytime i see you. thanks for making me smile and cry. thanks for making me feel this way. thanks for everything. Am gonna miss you. And your smile :) oh, one more thing! i dont know her, but i know that she deserves having you. please dont break her heart like what you do to me :)"
- sep 10th from web
adios amigos! :)
ps: and my playlist till today still contains gabrielle - out of reach, gareth gates - walk on by, keith urban - you'll think of me, michelle branch - goodbye to you, samsons - luluh, s club 7 - never had a dream come true, a1 - i'll take the tears, and most importantly, rick price - heaven knows :P
a.n.s.w.e.r
well, this might be the shortest entry i have ever written, but this is the answer for the big question mark in my head and also the conclusion of my previous longer entries
and here it is...
"I need a person who really cares about me . who texts me after we went together . who texts me when he wakes up cause he wishes he woke up next to me . who waits till i close the door before he left . who hugs me tight before the night is over . second thought, i don't need it . i want it ."
taken from Ayu Rianna Amardhi's blog
and here it is...
"I need a person who really cares about me . who texts me after we went together . who texts me when he wakes up cause he wishes he woke up next to me . who waits till i close the door before he left . who hugs me tight before the night is over . second thought, i don't need it . i want it ."
taken from Ayu Rianna Amardhi's blog
soooo....
nowadays, i feel like there is always at least a song for me for everything i feel on that day. like this one below :
MICHELLE BRANCH - GOODBYE TO YOU
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
[Chorus]
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
[Chorus x2]
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
err, well, actually you can pass the 'three years' part since he and i havent started anything yet, hehehe.
sooo.... this is how the story ends. of course this is not a happy ending like in cinderella's story, but at least now i know that you are not the one for me. dont forget to send my regards to her :)
MICHELLE BRANCH - GOODBYE TO YOU
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
[Chorus]
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
[Chorus x2]
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
err, well, actually you can pass the 'three years' part since he and i havent started anything yet, hehehe.
sooo.... this is how the story ends. of course this is not a happy ending like in cinderella's story, but at least now i know that you are not the one for me. dont forget to send my regards to her :)
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