ask me this question around three months ago, i would definitely answer, "ONE place where your heart belongs, the place where you always feel heavy to leave, but that's the only place where you always come back at the end". why do i emphasize on the word 'one' here? it's because i believed that we only have one place in our heart that we call home. the 'feels-like-home' feeling would be exist when we are in that place. ONLY that place. and that's what i felt when i was on my plane home to jogjakarta three months ago. when the view of high, tall buildings, and highways of kualalumpur changed to green rice paddies and the peak of jogja kembali monument. and that was the moment when i smiled widely and kept shouting "finally, i'm HOME!" over and over inside my heart. that's why i never believed in the term called 'my second home'.
but now, that perception of home in my head had already changed last night. when i packed my stuff, when my eyes rolled around my C-2-3-3 room in college 17, when i looked at my empty cupboards, when i looked at my full suitcases on the floor, i suddenly felt the same feeling with the feeling when i left jogjakarta around a month ago. yea, i felt heavy to leave this place. and at that time, i also felt that part of my heart already belongs to this place. yes, you're right. my heart already betrayed my mind by changing my perception and calling this place 'my second home'.
owyea, for those who haven't known, i'm going to move to college 12 this weekend. it's nearer to main campus, the bus goes to main campus for every ten minutes, and my classmates live there, so do a lot of indonesians. i know i'm moving to a better place, but that heavy feeling still remains in my heart. and when i asked myself why, i directly got the answer. yea, sentimentality. i already lived in this place for one year. i cried, i laughed, i smiled, i grinned, i did my assignments, i studied for my exams, i had a chitchat through YM, i browsed the internet, i spent the nights, i watched movied through DVDs and downloaded movies, i ate my takeaway dinners, i did EVERYTHING here. owyea, and i also have one really great housemate, kak huda, who is really kind, helpful, and sweet, which makes me feel kinda harder to leave since i never know whether i'll get the same nice neighbors or not. i cant leave this place with a feeling that this place means nothing to me, and when i have to let something meaningful for me go, i always get that heavy feeling.
but here comes the reality. i have to erase that feeling away and let the feeling of 'home' grow in my new place. hopefully it will grow real fast ^^
and soon i know, when i'm on my plane back to kualalumpur from jogjakarta, when the view of green rice paddies on my window changed to citylights, i will feel the same way with the moment where the view of high, tall buildings and highways of kualalumpur changed to green rice paddies and the peak of jogja kembali monument :)